January 14th 2010

14 Jan

It’s 10:45, I just got home, and I’m not even tired.  It has been an emotional day of ups and downs, but we have survived another day!  As you know, I received a call this afternoon from Tiffany letting me know that Makoa had a urinary tract infection.  For some reason, the news seems to always come down when I’m not there and Tiffany is left to take the brunt of the emotion herself.  We received a great piece of advice from a friend who had a child in the NICU.  She told us, “You need to detach emotionally from what the doctors tell you, the bottom line is that every child is different and will react differently, so you just don’t know.”   We are still working on that…

There was some good news, Makoa is back off the oxygen and doing well on his own.  I showed up after work to the hospital and our little man was just relaxing in his new outfit Grammy bought.

He’s also gained another .5 oz which is great.  They are also adding some extra calories to his feedings to help speed the process of his weight gain.  It’s like their cooking up a mini protein shake for the little guy, and I love it!  The hard thing for me tonight was seeing him with the IV in his hand, and I know it was just as difficult for Tiffany.

There are four things that have made me the man I am today: God, my Parents,my Wife, and my Children.  There is nothing that breaks my heart more than to see my Wife in pain, whether it be emotionally or physically.  I wish I could take that pain and those feelings of hurt she has from her, but sadly I can’t, so all I can do is hold her while she cries.  I know it’s because she is a mother and there is something about that job and the connection that you have with you child that words cannot describe.  People always describe Tiffany as “the strong one” and she is, but she’s also been through a lot in her life and there comes a time when you need to just cry.  This journey has been difficult for everyone, but we must put our faith in God to carry us through.

I’ve been very blessed that God has poured his love onto me, giving me the strength to support Tiffany and our family through this.  It’s also with the prayers, love, and support of family and friends that keep us going.  I spoke with one of my dear friends Jason tonight.  Jay and I roomed together in college, we’re in each others weddings, even played in a band together.  But most importantly, Jason is the one who introduced me to God.  I remember sitting in his Ford pickup truck in a Burger King parking lot in Westlake Village eating some dinner and sharing his testimony with me.  It’s always great talking with Jason, but spiritually it always lifts me up because he truly understands God’s grace and how amazing he His.

I also ran into our “angel” Gina in the NICU.  Joey is on schedule to go home tomorrow and she brought over some clothes that he had grown out of.  We began chatting and I thanked her for praying with Tiffany that day.  She told me that God had put in her heart that she needed to pray with that family.  It’s amazing to see a light that is so bright in someone and that she’s willing to share that light with others.  Gina said that if Tiffany ever wanted to talk, she would be there.  I’m hopeful that Tiffany can find comfort in other mothers who have had children in the NICU.

I spent a couple hours with Makoa tonight.  We sang some songs, prayed a little, told him to stop scaring Mommy.  I love holding him and could do it for hours without blinking an eye.  When it was time to go, I wrapped him up tight and put him back in his crib and he was snug-as-a-bug-in-a-rug.  His picture of Nainoa & Kaialani is propped up and his crib so they can always be with him.  And of course, God is holding our little man when we aren’t there, making him stronger so he can come home.

6 Responses to “January 14th 2010”

  1. Brenda, Ashley, Anna 15. Jan, 2010 at 6:40 am #

    Little Makoa,
    Everyday I wake up and race
    to see your beautiful face.
    Theres so much love
    that we have all embraced.

    Keep getting strong all the while
    Mom and Dad need to see your smile!!

    Little Makoa, “Little Man”
    You are such a site to view
    handsome and wholesome
    we all just love you :)

    Lindsey and Tiffany
    Stay Strong, We love you
    Virginia and North Carolina!!

  2. Maile and Dave Bellosi 15. Jan, 2010 at 9:09 am #

    We’re praying for your beautiful son and for all of you as you progress through such a challenging time. Hoping to keep seeing good news as he gets bigger and stronger.

  3. The Kalama Ohana 15. Jan, 2010 at 11:28 am #

    I waas soooo excited to see the most recent pic of Makoa…I remember when Jr was a premie and I had a friend say every time she saw him he looked so much more grown up…and Makoa is growing up in front of our eyes…funny what a new outfit can do for all of us!!

    He looks great! I agree with your friend that you need to take each day lightly as these little guys will take their time…and it is all in God’s timing to teach all of us what we need to learn. Tiff, you are gaining strength every day just like Makoa. It may be hard to see now, but this too shall pass…some day you will be encouraging another mom how to get through these tough times…it’s the sisterhood of motherhood.

    Love you guys and look forward to seeing you all soon!

  4. Lala 15. Jan, 2010 at 6:36 pm #

    To our North Carolina Family – thank you….your last entry was a delight!

  5. Jessica (Winchell) Krangnes 15. Jan, 2010 at 8:10 pm #

    Just to let you know I think of you all daily, even hourly. Thanks to Lindsey for your eloquent blogging. I know you are worried about your little man.
    Speaking as a medical “professional”, It is imperative to remember that the MD’s, RN’s, etc are just people…people caring for people, with limited resources & knowledge, doing the best they can…BUT, they don’t know everything. So take what they say as just that…info and then continue to TRUST that God & Makoa have it all under control.
    Thank you for sharing your story & daily struggles. It is yet again another reminder to remain focused on what really matters in this crazy life. Makoa’s purpose thus far has been profound in all of our lives… imagine what the future holds for him.
    Thanks again, Jessica

  6. Sharon Priddy 16. Jan, 2010 at 9:12 am #

    What a blessing to see the man of God, the sweet son, the loving husband and great dad you have become! And Jay as well…we cont. to pray for each of you.

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